Interviewing a Reluctant Relative
Launch library · evergreen read
Not every relative wants to be interviewed, and pressing someone who has clearly expressed reluctance rarely produces a useful or comfortable conversation for either party. Whatever valuable memories they might genuinely hold, respecting that reluctance is usually more important than capturing the story at any cost to the relationship.
Sometimes reluctance softens over time, particularly once a relative sees how carefully and respectfully other family members' stories have been handled by the interviewer. A gentle, low pressure invitation, repeated occasionally rather than insisted upon, tends to work better than persistent direct requests that feel more like pressure than an invitation.
If a relative remains unwilling despite this patience, their choice deserves to be honoured fully by everyone involved in the project. An oral history project built on genuine willingness, even with real gaps, will always hold more integrity than one that includes an account given reluctantly, under quiet pressure from the family.